so this is love

the last time I wrote on my blog is when I was still single, yes I have a way of visualizing how my future relationship would be, but I never imagine it to be this way, you know when you feel at peace like nothing can beat the peace that comes within, and slowly the phase of contentment would creep in, slowly you would find yourself smiling out of nowhere just really is no pressure at all, and you know, you are just in your happy state.

You cannot really describe love I think we all have a different perspective in terms, explanations, and the list goes on, but I would always hear people would say ” if you know, you know” and I resonate with my relationship it’s not a one time boom ” I fall in love”, it’s a kind of love that steady and secured. Act of service and quality time is his love languange he would shower me with his time considering we live 57.8 KM away from each, yes not that far but the traffic to get to his place and my place, I cannot tell you how many hours stuck, then and there. but finding ways and making time matter the most, there are 3 things I learned from us , one be patient , you never know what you’re partner going through and just the bad days that also comes along, two Be intentional know what you want and make sure to discuss it and value what matter the most, third and last value your alone time yes we are in a relationship but we also love enjoying our spare time without hangout together physically.

I never knew I could love like this, calming and overflowing with love thanking the Lord for giving me a partner whom I prayed for and more, grateful for everything in between those shared words and haven’t , random coffee dates , food trips and exploring life day by day, I cannot promise you to be the perfect partner, BUT I can assure you that I will strive to grow day by day not for you, but for us.

To my plant doctor : how sweet it is to be loved by you.

Twelve Twenty-TwentyOne

I’ve always enjoyed writing down my thoughts and whenever I certainly felt something so strong that I just couldn’t bear I choose to write it down, and specially when its you, Hey where do i begin it was a strange summer of 2021 where people are still currently adjusting in the Covid, Out of nowhere I stumble across your facebook page and from then on, I couldn’t help it but let myself get into those feelings again, everything is new and fresh, something that I know I will be so damn happy, One thing I notice about myself is that whenever I liked something I would always put a extra effort for it, but sooner I found myself just gazing around and realized that I don’t like it anymore, Well for you I would be defensive but over the time I guess I am proving myself right again this time, well at first it is so happy, calming, relaxing and just chill but over the time and the acts that you do, its just giving me more reason that you don’t find me interesting, and I need to program myself that its the reality, I was not born in a alternate universe, well in fact I am used to this kind of scenario where I found someone so interesting but the other way around happens, Life is too short to just kept thinking that If I was her or If I am just like that it would be much easier, But in those moments remember this you are exactly what God created you, I know its easier said than done but thats the reality we lived in. I have so many things to say to you but I just want to sumarise it and here you

Hey you, your not typical boy next door,you already caught me off guard the first time i saw your facebook account pop up, and i knew from that moment it would hit differently this time and surely it does. this time its more complex in a way that I’ve got the whole company family cheering for me, it makes me kilig because they made me like we are all in this together,  every notice/uploads that you make everyone is apart of it, to make it short, it is broadcast, I even printed photos of yours and polaroids which is very cute btw, I even stick your photos on the back of my laptop and insert the polaroids on the back of my phone, let’s just say that I’m literally obsessed with you and you are my favorite viewer, I will not forget the lunch date we had, those sips of coffee,tiktoking, playing mobile games and just a memorable day at the perfect cold breze weather location,ahhhh soooo nostalgic, when things got tough I would always go back to you and would always choose to choose you but thats not the reality, my most excited self, and one foot forward ended up hurting myself, those hello’s turns to inbox turns to seen messages, and to be straight forward your not interested at all, I could distinguish your actions I know your just to shy to reject me,But don’t worry I already anticipated this situation I am used to this. but to end this ,every now and then when i think of you, I smile and you sprinkle those happiness that you gave me still, but not that happiness that is hopeful but happiness of moving forward towards the reality. The day i meet you is the day i set my heart free.

WHAT A YEAR 2020

2020 what a year it has been !! there are so many cancelled plans, unexpected things happened, and the list goes on, some people says, year 2020 is cancelledt but as for me, it is a year where i developed and cultured my strength and weakness, though We’ve been quarantine for almost a year, there is still a blessings and joy to be thankful for as we look back on the year 2020 ! and here are some of the lessons i gained this year.

• God deserve the highest place of honor in our life
• How important accountability is
• Dealing and confronting your emotion
• The importance of managing your time
• turning off social media atleast 3 hrs per day
• Spending quality with your family is a must.
• how patience is extremely important in our everyday life
• turning your weakness into your strength
• DON’T EXPECT TOOO MUCH ( yes i know, i know ) lessen your expectation
• you will be better just keep pushing forward God is with you.
• God love will always be enough in our life
• Be grateful for everything you have in your life
• God redirection is His protection
• God’s Yes, No, And Wait is a blessing
• Finding contentment and Peace despite the most challenging time in our life.
• its okay to cry @2am because of school works/ and deadlines
• you must walk closely to God, so that you will be able to hear His word
• Sometimes our to- do list needs to wait
• Patience means awaiting God’s time, and trusting God’s love
• Standing form on your values, belief and principles
• Don’t let prayer be your last resort in time of need, make it your first
• FOCUSED
• Keep on being filled with the spirit.
• Better to follow where He Leads
• When things looks bad, remember God is good.

2020 had been not my ideal year, but I do really believe that everything happens for a reason, we may not be able to understand it, but it has a purpose why it happen. throughout every season I could only see God’s faithfulness in my life, I don’t know what lies ahead of me, but I could be assured because I know God is working and in control ! Hoping everyone has an amazing New Year ! Here’s to more year of God’s Favor ! May we all seek Him first in our day to day life ! Thank You 2020 your a struggle but Jesus guiding hand lead me all the way ! Hello 2021, I don’t know you yet, but I am welcoming you with a brightest smile and thankfulness !

20 Things I’ve Learned In 20 Years

Last 3rd Of November I turned 20 years old ! crazy how time flies so fast, and as i said goodbye to my teenager years, I wanted to reflect and look back what I have learned in the past 20 years that God had given to me.

20 Things I learned In 20 Years

1.) When you feel God less, remember God bless

2.) Encouraging Word Brings Hope in the Human Spirit 

3.) Focused

4.) If its meant to be it will be

5.) The biggest storm, makes the best stories

6.) God brings beauty in all different season

7.) What we let into our minds shapes the state of our souls.

8.) Kids bring so much joy into my life

9.) Learned how to cook

10.) Sistering – Strengthen one another

11.)  God’s love is extended through His people to come to you

12.) Riding Bicycle is so much fun

13.) Relax, Calm, and have peace

14.) Surround yourself with positive people

15.) Be grateful and feel contented 

16.) Be patient with yourself 

17.) A quiet time really change the atmosphere

18.) Let God will be done to my life

19.) Time flies so fast but we have to choice to make every second count 

20.) Receive Love, Give love, Repeat 

Looking back my teenage years had been quite a ride and a journey, I wouldn’t trade anything for it, it mould me into a person who i am today, all those pain that i’ve gone through God brings beauty in ashes, He turn my mourning into dancing, My shame into glory, my  stepbacks to breakthrough, and I know God is not done yet ! Thankful for all the birthday wishes and prayers, grateful to each and single one of you ! The Best Is YET TO COME, as I embark to this new chapter of my life, I want to Honor God in everything that I do ! This is all for you LORD ! Hope your having an amazing day ! God bless you always.

“I will bless those who bless you and whoever curses; you I will curse, and all people on earth will be blessed through you.” Genesis 12:3

“ An open letter to the telegram boy, I got easily attached, and left without a prior notice”

In a blink of an eye the one who kept me up all night left without a notice.

it was a typical quarantine late monday night. as i was scrolling next,i stumble upon you. i could vividly remember you are wearing a gray hoodie, he told me how boring person he is, and how i should skip him. it was already a sign right there, but i didn’t notice, i just continue talking to you, even though you are checking on your phone, i lost track of time and its already 4 in the morning, i guess you would lost track of time, when you are talking with someone who also has the same interest as you. we’ve exchanged our telegrams.as i’ve got to know you more each day, i am always looking forward to your stories, covers, rants and just being able to talk to you, and without noticing it, I lost track of guard, and hit the downfall, and I wonder if you also feel the same way too?

they say love is better expressed than defined; better experienced than it is described.then there’s us, I mean there I was, falling for you, but i wasn’t able to expressed it because i was too afraid to take the risk,that I was so comfortable on what we have at that moment.

I already saw signs firsthand and i just ignored it, i know I also had faults, but it wasn’t my intention to leave, i just wanted to know if you would ask me to stay, but it didn’t happen the way i wanted to happen.

As i witness the tree leaves falling rapidly, i suddenly remember how i let you in into my life, and also fast enough to leave, I’ve had so many questions i’ve been wanting to tell you, and since I couldn’t ask you directly, I search for an answer from my friends and strangers, crying and out of focus, I immerse myself to the thought of getting an answer, i kept searching for an answers, minutes turns to hours,hours turns to days, to weeks,to months, but I’ve never got the answer i wanted to hear from you, until one day, as I’m walking and seeing how the colour of the leaves turn brown,it suddenly hit me, all this time I was looking for an answer, that I already knew the answer, i kept bugging my friends and strangers for an answer,but in fact I know already the answer , I just want a confirmation from people. you let yourself look stupid and desperate and he even doesn’t know about it.

I guess experienced is the best teacher, because of you i learned to GUARD MY HEART, to just really guard it and protect it. because our heart is very fragile, because of you i learned to become more patient to myself,because of you I learn to read between the lines,because of you i learned that some people are there for just a season and they could leave anytime soon,if its not meant to be and because of you i learned that “kung wala na, wala na” don’t you ever dare to take any further risk and destruction to yourself. crazy how from fast exchanged conversation turns to coldness and just seen, the person you invested time,could just leave you, just like that,without saying anything, and left you hanging.

Dear You,thank you for coming into my life,because the moment you left I’ve rediscover myself, and reminded who I was before you come along.I guess some things are better left unsaid. you impacted something to my life, and I am not expecting anything in return from you, but i just want you to continue posting your covers. because you are sooo great ! you were a dream, a good dream.

March You Had Been

Woah March, what a month it had been ! this month just astonish me in a sense that we cannot really predict or control what tomorow will bring. and march had been a eye opening to strengthen my relationship to God, and to seek Him everyday of my life, to spend more time with Him, with our life that us fast paced, we tend to focus on our earthly desires, that we forget to give time to our creator, the one who make all things possible. Our hearts should be focused on pursuing God’s kingdom. Knowing Him and serving others, so during this season I spend my time on things that will help me grow as person that God wants me to be. Community Quarantine couldn’t stop us to Worship Jesus, reveal His message to us, share Gospel, to video call and catch up our loved one’s, and to meet new friends/sisters. During this time of uncertainty I pray for the safety of everyone, God provision for the front liners and our leaders, I pray for the financial stability, I pray for inner healing, I pray for those who are affected of the virus, I pray for comfort and peace. In our seemingly endless moments of struggle, His unfailing love will carry us. We can rejoice in His Salvation. In Jesus Name we will overcome this Altogether.

“Everything is possible for one who believes”
– Mark 9:23

What’s In My Mind Recently

Hi, how are you? no Monday  blues today ! yay! so here I am taking use of my time wisely. so what a better way is to tell you what’s in my mind recently, with our current situation COVID-19, Which is very alarming! it first started out in wuhan china and it spread around the world. and everyday the case of COVID-19 is increasing And INCREASING ! some countries just declared lockdown and others are under quarantine. classes are suspended and people are going all out buying goods for their family. “The Panic Buying” and in line with that, in the span of of JUST 3 months of 2020 alot of things already happened ! and for me i think that it is OUR WAKE UP CALL !!! everything that is happening has a purpose. God want us to Repent ! and He want us to come back to Him Again. because we’ve been lost and we’ve been prioritizing our earthly desires. Set your minds on things above,  not on earthly things (Colossians 3:2) so instead of panicking,

Let us turn back to God. For he is our Way maker, Miracle Worker,Promise Keeper, Light in the darkness.

Yesterday I was watching The Juans Facebook Live, and they emphasize that we should “Activate our faith” , ” Act in Faith” , ” Let Our Faith Be Louder Than Fear.” Now Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see, This is what the ancients were commended for ( Hebrews 11:1-2) and with that , this is the time where our Faith take place, now is the time, to stand firm and reach out to people, instead of Fear,Panicking and worrying. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts since as members of one body you were called to peace and be thankful  ( Colossians 3:15) “Take courage it is I, Don’t be Afraid”  ( Mark 6:50)

Some of us maybe inclined to look at the world and see only what’s wrong, specially right now, when we are currently facing the circumstances. But those is something to celebrate about in the Faces of natures there are wonders that never cease and it is the promise of Our Lord to us.

And to end up this very long “what in my mind”  I think that the best Gift that you could give to someone and anyone in this situation is the Gift of Prayer. Praying for each other and this I tell you, how comforting prayers are. Your prayers to each and everyone Strengthened this difficult time and will be an encouragement to one another. One of the best ways to love others is to pray for them. Pray for your family, friends, Pray for the people who is risking their life to help other people, Pray for our leaders, Pray for our country, Pray for our nation. We can ask God to help us pray for them, and he will our loving Lord Strengthen us to generously give the gift of our prayers for others. Prayers is a gift to be shared.

I am Leaving you with these verse today : “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  Colossians 3:12

Be the leader that God wants you to be, Now is your time to Step Up.

And lastly let us all included in our prayers those who are affected and to each and every frontliner fighting COVID-19.  In Jesus Name the covid-19  will be over.

Living In God’s Best

Living In God’s Best

The season of love is finally here.and to all the single ladies out there, you may probably say that ‘i know i get it’ , ‘i don’t need the world to tell me’ or ‘its single awareness month.’ and believe me or not . I understand im turning 20 years old in november. twenty years of existing in PLANET EARTH and also 20 YEARS OF NOT HAVING A BOYFRIEND AND SUITORS.

i could easily say that im all good and dont worry about me too much, but i would be lying to myself and to everyone who are reading this.

when i was 11 i had this biggest (crush) to someone and it lasted for almost 6 years , crazy right???? i did everything i could so that he will notice me. and i even brought him a gift and i even write a letter to make it “sweet” ( i thought) that time. to make the long story short, i end up getting no response and my efforts are all neglected and from them on i was always the one, I would chase guys, then i would try my best as i could be, to make him Like me, so in short i was very persuasive to someone so that he could reciprocate the love i wanted to receive.

I was in the season where all i knew HAVING A BOYFRIEND is what i wanted and NEEDED, and i dont know why but i guess the nature itself has it way of teasing me.because before i would get really jealous of couples holding hands, valentines day surprise, valentines day date , gifts but right now i would often ask God what he wanted me to do while im in the season of singleness.

To everyone that is reading this and in the season of waiting and singleness, please be patient because God is already making plans for you, you just need to obey and trust His plan for your life.

“For God promises that those who hope in Him will never be disappointed” (Isaiah 49:23)

FOREVER GRATEFUL to God for giving me pure joy and from that pure joy alone, i don’t need a boyfriend to fill into my life because God’s love alone is overflowing

And according to King Solomon
‘Do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time.’ Song of solomon 8:4 (CSB)

AND Having Jesus in my life is more than okay to me

Maligayang Araw Ng Mga Puso, may we all have a meaningful valentines day and may you spend it with the people that you truly cherish and make you feel the happiest.

“We loved because He first loved us.”
1John 4:19

2019 The Best Year Yet,

Waking up feeling really sick and so exhausted today. then Im really contemplating on how Im going to compose my 2019 in words. 2019 had been incredibly beautiful ! because GOD had been the center of it ! This year i saw how GOD had been so good to my life.and he will always be ! the past years I thought that Im already complete, but Im not. this year God showed me that only Him can Fulfill ME ! and nothing else ! It’s true in times where my anxiety is attacking me He is there, when i make a wrongful decisions He is there, when i cry because of all the pains He is there. He never abandoned me even though I don’t deserve His love ! but Jesus loved us unconditionally. His very nature is to have Goodness in abundance that it overflows into our unworthy lives.

In the beginning of the year 2019 I wrote down my take away each month and here they are.

January 2019 – To be more understanding, because we don’t know what other people are going through,and be mindful .

February 2019 – More stronger, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. no matter how life is so challenging please be strong.

March 2019 – ACCEPT myself more.

April 2019 – Don’t do things that you will enjoy now, but afterwards you are going to regret it.

May 2019 – ‘keep on being happy run through lots of grass barefoot, but be careful, we want you to enjoy life as it unfolds,and not be hurt by any of it”

June 2019 -I learned to adjust my emotions and feelings, i learn to let it feel me, absorb it and realised that it is actually happening and then reflect and move on.

July 2019 – To be more flexible and never be afraid of rejection.

August 2019 – The month of my Spiritual Growth, I become aware of my faith.

I wasn’t able to write starting September to December the last 4 months of 2019 had been a Life Changing! September is the month I encounter GOD! and it was very special moment of my life. and the following month had been finding my purpose. sometimes i put God in a box because I want my plans and will to be done. but when I do that it will have a fall back on me, and that thought alone makes me sad.and it make me realise that GOD allow pain, because in every NO’s of the Lord he is preparing us to a bigger blessing ! so in every pain and rejection and No’s there is a purpose. and my New Year eve last devotion of the year 2019, is so beautiful it says that. “ Forget the former things, Do not dwell on the past.” – Isaiah 43:18 and its true as a human we tend to dwell on the past, and sometimes it become a hindrance on what God will blessed us in the present. Thank you GOD ! Im yours endlessly you renewed my faith and helped me start over ! So much love and gratitude for all the blessings i received this year ! The Gift Of People that God put into my life, they really play a huge part in my life! 2019 is the BEST YEAR YET !!!

Before i will really get anxious planning and figuring everything on my days and months and what the new year will take me, but right now i have peace in my heart, because I know that GOD is in control. so Im looking at 2020 with joyful anticipation to trust Him more and watch Him show off!

Warmth

Warmth

The best word that could describe you in my perspective is warmth, whenever i see a bright yellow colour, it will remind me of you instantly.

Your captivating smile that could light up the room,

Your leadership skills that is very admirable ,

Your sense of humour in every aspect,

Your very articulate and it amaze me how you make an impact to someone.

Your authentic ! and that is something that you have and caught me off guard.

And you are a blessing ! we are blessed to have you in our life.

Your warmth hug, warmth smile,warmth presence.

45.86 miles away from you, but your warmth reach its 73.80 kilometers to me. everyday you give me a reason to admire you.

Oh how warmth it is to be loved by you.

fret no more i can’t wait for the day that the girl you’ve been praying will come in GOD’s Perfect Time, just please make sure you update us okay?

– Azlen